We were welcomed home by signs, balloons, flowers, and even Tiff’s treats! All wonderful items from wonderful friends and family.

We got discharged from the hospital on Thursday; it was a scary scene saying goodbye to our wonderful nurses and staff members at the hospital. But, we knew it was time to start our new life as a family of three. We got Jack all dressed up for his ride home (thanks Seth & Natalie).

He didn’t seem as nervous as his parents to leave the hospital. It was honestly one of the most nervous feelings I’ve ever had walking away from the hospital and stepping foot into the real world. The hubs drove home with two hands on the wheel, staying in the slowest lane. I, on the other hand, spent most of the drive white knuckling the door handle and looking back at Jack. So little. So cute. Why the heck did they let us leave with him?

Since then, I have no concept of real time, what day it is, or even what was on my old to do list. Everything seems so arbitrary, because now, I have a kid to take care of. No Keeping up with the Kardashian’s on Jack’s schedule.

The last of our visiting family all left Friday, and now I find myself concerned with diapers and what’s in them, when I last fed him, and if its time to take more Motrin. I guess that’s why most people refer to this time as a parent as “the fog,” that period of newborn life that you are completely deprived of sleep and the outside world… just to keep up with this little person’s needs.

I’m not going to lie, it’s hard.

Really hard.

There are times I questions people’s sanity of having more than one, but then Jack makes me love him all over again, with the way he looks when he’s all swaddled (I think he looks like a sumo wrestler) or his sweet face all drunk after eating. It’s amazing how thankful I am when his gives me 3 1/2 hours between feedings. Last night I cheered to Paul that it was 5:45 am! 5:45 am, Paul!! Never in my life have I been more excited about 2 1/2 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Mainly, I take pictures of Jack when I get him up for feedings and spend my days questioning what I did to deserve such an amazing gift. He’s amazing. God is so good. Tears. Lots of happy tears.

I have a new found love and respect for another amazing man, the one I picked to be my co-parent in this new adventure and whom Jack will get to call dad. (Yep, tears. again.) He has been amazing at trying to keep the wheels from falling off the house and especially, me. And has done extremely well at both. It’s been truly amazing to see him with Jack and take charge of so many things around the house. Or just be there at 2 am or 4 am or 5 am to ask if I need a glass of water while feeding Jack.

We’re surviving. We can do this. We are survivors. We might even be parenting?!

I am so truly blessed to have these two men in my life. I know it will all get even better but want to make sure I stop and enjoy this crazy, sleep deprived, tear filled, what-the-hell-am-I-doing time, too.

Happy what-ever-day-it-is, Friends!